Near Death Sickness from the depths of Hell

Oh my gosh......Whatever mutant form of the plague was that hit my family was incredibly wicked! I don't remember being so sick from a virus in my entire life. Poor Sammy walked around (slowly because her joints all locked up) with an actual shade of green to her skin color. I don't think I've ever actually seen that happen. I didn't know a human being could puke such vast amounts from 1 tiny little sippie of sprite...you can imagine my surprise when a tiny chip of ice brought on another bout of the screaming pukes. I call it the screaming pukes because I do not vomit daintily. You could hear me retch clear on the other side of the house with the doors closed! I'm talking bucketfuls!
If I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, well I am! Monday, AKA known as Pukefest 2007 by my other heaving daughter, was our 25th wedding anniversary! Ed sent me lovely flowers at work( I haven't seen them for 2 days because I'm currently using several of my hard earned, greedily-saved sick days in the first week of school!) and Sammy, Meg, and Mike planned to make us a lovely, gourmet supper and serve it to us. They worked on the menu for days, shopped, the whole bit. Well, none of that happened! Instead, all of us except Ed have been curled up in the bathroom wrapped around the "throne" in one capacity or another. I'm sure you all know what I mean! I traded my menu of bacon wrapped cream cheese jalapenos, wilted spinich salad, roast chicken with potatoes, lemon and asparagus, and mini lava cakes ala mode washed down by a chilled glass of champagne for tylenol and ice chips that I couldn't even keep down! Waaaaaaaaa!!!
When we started to recover Sam and I ate olives like crazy to get the salt. I had become very dehydrated and my skin is hanging loose and bruised. The bags under my eyes stay all gathered up when I rub them and makes Sam gross out. The worst part is the soreness. Our joints, back, and rib muscles are so sore! It was during this phase of the disease that I got a good look of the picture of me when Meg jumped out and scared me and took my picture. Thanks Meg...just what I needed! The laugh just about killed me.
The one good thing about being soooooooo sick is that you really appreciate the little things in life so much more when you start feeling better...the slightly tinny taste of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, the clean smell of your toilet bowls since you had to practically sterilize them, pets who think that they are sick because they have been lying in bed with you for 2 days, and Sprite. Who cares if it is left over from an early June wedding and the fizz is long gone!
I'm trying to think about going back to work tomorrow. If not, Meg is on stand-by to sub for me and I will have a few more bonding days with Sammy before she goes back to college this weekend. I can almost make myself say(not really believe) that the disease has been worth having to get that extra time together. Next time, we need to come up with a better plan, Sam!